SELF IMPROVEMENT AND MOTIVATION

We all come to expect that our closest romantic partners will “be there” for us in times of need. Like it or not, you also unconsciously measure whether your partner is good enough for you, or vice versa. Research into  relational entitlement  is now putting under the microscope this set of attitudes and trying to determine whether and how it relates to a couple’s satisfaction. Bar-Ilan University’s Sivan George-Levi and collaborators (2014) decided to test a measure of relational entitlement developed with college students on a real-world sample of adults in their 50s who had been married since their 20s, many of whom were also parents. Unlike the typical undergraduate sample, these individuals had a far more extensive set of shared experiences on which to draw when contemplating their relationship and the extent to which it met their needs. Additionally, the George-Levi team tested  both  married partners (all the couples were heterosexual) instead of relying...

These 7 ways we over-rely on our partner can seriously hurt our relationship. When a couple comes to therapy, they tend to each arrive with a laundry list of complaints about the other. While neither person may claim to be perfect themselves, they find it much easier to talk about their partner. “She never picks up after herself.” “He hardly notices when I’m feeling down.” “She cares more about seeing her friends than spending time with me and the kids.” “He doesn’t listen to me when I talk about my interests.” Of course, no one is perfect, and some of these complaints are valid, but the sheer extent to which couples become critical toward each other begs the bigger question, “Are we expecting too much from our partner?” Psychotherapist, author, and podcaster Esther Perel is well-known for her insights into modern relationship problems, and she addresses this question really well when she points out the historical context of marriage versus today’s connotation. In an interview wi...

We tend to think that a strong manager is someone who is decisive and firm. We think that someone who tells you exactly what they think and calls the shots is a strong manager. We can easily think that ‘having everything under control’ is a manager’s most important goal. But what is strength, really? Strength is resilience. Some managers are quick to tell you what to do, but that doesn’t mean they are strong leaders. It is important to make sure that your operation is running smoothly, but a smoothly-running operation is only part of a leader’s goal. Real life throws obstacles and changes at us,  and leaders show their strength in the way they handle those situations. They may need to have all the answers and make all the decisions because they fear they won’t  be respected unless they demonstrate their authority at every opportunity. Sadly, most corporations and institutions don’t do a great job at teaching leaders how to lead. We have been talking about the differenc...