The First Step in Leadership Is Learning How to Manage Yourself

Leadership. It is easier said than done. I am an imperfect person managing a team of five people in a startup. Together, we are trying to build a new company and create a business model on a shoestring.

The business is an advisory model providing content to help line-of-business leaders in supply chain management. Our goal is to help leaders navigate the evolution of new technologies to drive process innovation. While the traditional business model is selling content behind a paywall, we give content away. The company makes money through speeches, strategy workshops, and events. We think supply chain matters. It is our belief that supply chains can save the world.

In my hiring, I am attracted to bright people who want to make a difference. The team is composed of committed individuals with strong personalities with sharp edges. They are comfortable wearing multiple hats, multi-tasking, and turning out materials on a quick cycle. They rise to new challenges. The culture is quirky and a bit maverick. We push the envelope to drive innovation for our clients. Slowly, we have found our way together. 

I find that an individual with strong strengths is usually a person that also has great weaknesses. So, in the hiring of bright people with strong skills, I have to manage myself to attempt to drive better outcomes. Management of myself is a far greater challenge than managing the company or managing the team. While management should never be confused with leadership, I feel that the first step in leadership is the leader's management of themselves. Here is what I have learned on the journey.

1) Heart. I once led a workshop where I asked each person to bring a gift of candy to give to every individual on the team for Valentine's Day. The goal was to use the candy to symbolize what that person valued in their peer. It was a gift from one soul to another. In the process of the exercise, the person would rise from their chair and give a short speech on why they selected that 'candy or sweet' for the other person. In this workshop, one person got taffy for sticking with hard tasks. Another got Hershey's Kisses as appreciation for a job well done. A third received rock candy for being available when needed (the rock on the team).

When it was my turn, I got a "Power Bar." Confused, I asked, "Why a Power Bar?" The person blushed and said, "We know that the feedback that you give is good for us. We value it for our development, and we know that it is valid, but it sticks in our throat like a Power Bar. It is tough to swallow."

OUCH! I squirmed in my chair. The gift of feedback is a powerful one. He was telling me that I needed more heart. Feedback takes time to digest even when it is wrapped around a sweet team building activity. (Hence the picture of the Power Bar at the top of this post. It is a reminder on my desk.)

Leading requires heart. Building heart has been my challenge. Intellectually, I am a quick study. I have a stronger IQ than EQ. Things move smoother when each person on the team feels the connection heart to heart. Opening my heart and being vulnerable has been my challenge. My natural orientation is one of tasks. I am a hard worker, and I like getting things done. Building heart in relationships requires work for me, but I am trying... Far from perfect, I am better today than a year ago.

2) Share. Clarify. Then Share Again. As a leader in a small organization, the team needs direction. Clarity of direction and role is paramount for task completion. However, what I think is clear never is. The team takes time to digest direction, and I have to be patient to clarify, share, and define future direction. It takes patience. I can never assume.

3) Listening. Venting. Clearing the Air. As a leader, another tough lesson was learning that employees need to vent. When they come to you and air their issues, it does not mean that you need to fix them. As a new leader, I was quick to jump in, short-circuit the conversation and try to fix a problem. Many were not my problems to solve. I now realize that a leader needs to be a good coach, and that coaching requires clearing the air. While listening to an employee vent may not help you meet a task deadline, it is a necessary part of the job.

4) Celebrate. Win. Push Forward Together through Tough Times. As a bootstrapped startup, the company has lived on the edge for the past two years. Revenue is lumpy and I must always meet payroll and government commitments. The rhythm of generating sales, collecting revenue, and meeting obligations is a continuous roller coaster that drives me as an individual, but I cannot let this cycle drive the interactions within the company. As the owner of a small business, I feel the ups and downs of this roller coaster intensely. However, I try to never let this intensity get in the way of having fun, and celebrating wins. No one wants to work on a losing team. 

5) Sense of Humor. Running a small business is intense, but you have to keep it in perspective. I am lucky to be able to do what I do. My mother used to say, "You can get more flies with honey than vinegar." Which is very true.... However, I find that a leader should never lose their sense of humor. Business experiences are tough to make up. They can border on the bizarre. So while you can get more by being nice, you can get even more done when you are nice AND have a sense of humor. Laughter equalizes. It diffuses bad situations. This is especially true if you are laughing at yourself which I get to do often.

These are my reflections on a Friday afternoon. I hope they help. I am very fortunate to be able to do what I love with a team that I have hired and mentor. I try to never lose sight of the fact that I am blessed. They are a great group. I learn more about myself everyday. Have a great weekend.