Managing You Boss - Toxic Boss
Un-capable and Egotist managers are unfortunately increasing in
numbers. Apart from their selfishness, they find amusing and fun to be surrounded
with 'Yes' people.
During hard times, as the ones we are going through at present,
people start developing job insecurity when faced with such a proposition.
One could understand, people being afraid of losing their jobs
since fear and all other natural sentiments are a normal pattern of behaviour
on all human beings.
Normally bosses, with this management style, tend to seek for
approval on all their requirements nonetheless; you have got to let them
respectfully know when their needs are not on.
Having the right criterion is an excellent allied when facing
any particular or doubtful situation at work place.
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True fact being, all of us love to live our own experiences,
especially during younger years, and it has been proven time and again, no one
learns through somebody else’s experience.
Some people get enthused and amazed, by the fact, their careers
rocket up as a consequence of being a ‘Yes’ person i.e. especially them called
high flyers.
A word of caution applies here .“ 'Yes' people shall ever get
trusted with the entire responsibility of a corporation."
If you do not want to find a sudden roof on your expectations,
to become a number one, you must pay attention to the following advice:
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We ought to say "no" to treating ourselves, our
health, and our needs, not as important as someone else's.
We must
therefore require to learn and say “no.”
― Suzette Hinton.-
A
true leader knows well, you could work with sympathizers and opposites all the
same. Therefore, in the long run a leader would welcome your sincerity rather
than your politeness.
Coaching 4 Champions
Are you following the guidance
of a true leader?
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Coaching 4 Champions
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TOXIC BOSS?
HOW SUCCESSFUL PEOPLE OVERCOME THEM
Bad bosses
contaminate the workplace. Some do so obliviously, while others smugly
manipulate their employees, using them as instruments of their own success.
Regardless of their methods, bad bosses
cause irrevocable damage to their companies and employees by hindering
performance and creating unnecessary stress.
The stress your boss
causes is bad for your health. Multiple studies have found that working for a bad boss
increases your chance of having a heart attack by as much as 50%.
Even more troubling
is the number of bad bosses out there. Gallup research found that 60% of
government workers are miserable because of bad bosses. In another study 69% of U.S. workers compared bosses with
too much power to toddlers with too much power.
The comparisons don’t stop there.
Significant percentages of U.S. workers describe their bosses as follows:
·
Self-oriented
(60%)
·
Stubborn
(49%)
·
Overly
demanding (43%)
·
Impulsive
(41%)
·
Interruptive
(39%)
Most bosses aren’t surprised by these
statistics. A DDI study found that 64% of managers admit that they need to work
on their management skills. When asked where they should focus their efforts,
managers overwhelmingly say, “Bringing in the numbers”; yet, they are most
often fired for poor people skills.
TalentSmart conducted
a research with more than a million people, and we’ve found that 90% of top
performers are skilled at managing their emotions in times of stress in order
to remain calm and in control. One of their greatest gifts is the ability to
neutralize toxic people—even those they report to. This is no easy task. It
requires a great deal of emotional intelligence, a skill that top performers
rely on.
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While the best option when you have a bad boss is
to seek other employment, this isn’t always possible.
Successful people know how to make the
most of a bad situation. A bad boss doesn’t deter them because they understand
that success is simply the product of how well you can play the hand you’ve
been dealt. When that “hand” is a bad boss, successful people identify the type
of bad boss they are working for and then use this information to neutralize
their boss’ behaviour.
What follows are seven of the most
common types of bad bosses and the strategies that successful people employ to
work effectively with them.
1. THE
INAPPROPRIATE BUDDY
This is the boss
who’s too friendly, and not in the fun, team-building sort of way. He is
constantly inviting you to hang out outside of work and engages in unnecessary
office gossip. He uses his influence to make friends at the expense of his
work. He chooses favorites and creates divisions among employees, who become
frustrated by the imbalance in attention and respect. He can’t make tough
decisions involving employees or even fire those who need to be fired (unless
he doesn’t like them). His office quickly becomes The Office.
How to neutralize an inappropriate
buddy: The
most important thing to do with this type of boss is to learn to set firm
boundaries. Don’t allow his position to intimidate you. By consciously and
proactively establishing a boundary, you can take control of the situation. For
example, you can remain friendly with your boss throughout the day but still
not be afraid to say no to drinks after work. The difficult part here is
maintaining consistency with your boundaries, even if your boss is persistent.
By distancing yourself from his behaviors that you deem inappropriate, you will
still be able to succeed and even have a healthy relationship with your boss.
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It’s
important you don’t put up unnecessary boundaries that stop you from being seen
as friendly (ideally, a friend). Instead of trying to change the crowd-pleaser
and force him to be something he’s not, having him see you as an ally will put
you in a stronger position than you could have anticipated.
2. THE MICROMANAGER
This is the boss who makes you feel as
if you are under constant surveillance. She thought your handwriting could use
improvement, so she waited until you left work at 7:00 p.m. to throw away your
pencils and replace them with the .9 lead mechanical pencils that have the
“proper grip.” She has even handed back your 20-page report because you used a
binder clip instead of a staple. The micromanager pays too much attention to
small details, and her constant hovering makes employees feel discouraged,
frustrated and even uncomfortable.
How to neutralize a micromanager: Successful people
appeal to micromanagers by proving themselves to be flexible, competent, and
disciplined while staying in constant communication. A micromanager is
naturally drawn to the employee who produces work the way she envisions. The
challenge with the micromanager is grasping the “envisioned way.” To do this,
try asking specific questions about your project, check in frequently, and look
for trends in the micromanager’s feedback.
Of course, this will not always work.
Some micromanagers will never stop searching for something to over-analyze and
micromanage. When this is the case, you must learn to derive your sense of
satisfaction from within. Don’t allow your boss’ obsession with details to
create feelings of inadequacy as this will only lead to further stress and
underperformance. Remember, a good report without a staple is still a good
report. Despite your boss’ fixation on detail, she appreciates your work; she
just doesn’t know how to show it.
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3. THE TYRANT
The tyrant resorts to Machiavellian
tactics and constantly makes decisions that feed his ego. His primary concern
is maintaining power, and he will coerce and intimidate others to do so. The
tyrant thinks of his employees as a criminal gang aboard his ship. He
classifies people in his mind and treats them accordingly: High achievers who
challenge his thinking are treated as mutinous. Those who support their
achievements with gestures of loyalty find themselves in the position of first
mate. Those who perform poorly are stuck cleaning the latrines and swabbing the
decks.
How to neutralize a tyrant: A painful but
effective strategy with the tyrant is to present your ideas in a way that
allows him to take partial credit. The tyrant can then maintain his ego without
having to shut down your idea. Always be quick to give him some credit, even
though he is unlikely to reciprocate, because this will inevitably put you on
his good side. Also, to survive a tyrant, you must choose your battles wisely.
If you practice self-awareness and manage your emotions, you can rationally
choose which battles are worth fighting and which ones you should just let go.
This way, you won’t find yourself on latrine duty.
4. THE INCOMPETENT
This boss was promoted hastily or hired
haphazardly and holds a position that is beyond her capabilities. Most likely,
she is not completely incompetent, but she has people who report to her that
have been at the company a lot longer and have information and skills that she
lacks.
How to neutralize an incompetent: If you find yourself
frustrated with this type of boss, it is likely because you have experience
that she lacks. It is important to swallow your pride and share your experience
and knowledge, without rubbing it in her face. Share the information that this
boss needs to grow into her role, and you’ll become her ally and confidant.
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5. THE ROBOT
In the mind of the robot, you are
employee number 72 with a production yield of 84% and experience level 91. This
boss makes decisions based on the numbers, and when he’s forced to reach a
conclusion without the proper data, he self-destructs. He makes little or no
effort to connect with his employees, and instead, looks solely to the numbers
to decide who is invaluable and who needs to go.
How to neutralize a robot: To succeed with a
robot, you need to speak his language. When you have an idea, make certain you
have the data to back it up. The same goes with your performance—you need to
know what he values and be able to show it to him if you want to prove your
worth. Once you’ve accomplished this, you can begin trying to nudge him out of
his antisocial comfort zone. The trick is to find ways to connect with him
directly, without being pushy or rude. Schedule face-to-face meetings and respond
to some of his e-mails by knocking on his door. Forcing him to connect with you
as a person, however so slightly, will make you more than a list of numbers and
put a face to your name. Just because he’s all about the numbers, it doesn’t
mean you can’t make yourself the exception. Do so in small doses, however,
because he’s unlikely to respond well to the overbearing social type.
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6. THE VISIONARY
Her strength lies in her ideas and
innovations. However, this entrepreneurial approach becomes dangerous when a
plan or solution needs to be implemented, and she can’t bring herself to focus
on the task at hand. When the time comes to execute her vision, she’s already
off onto the next idea, and you’re left to figure things out on your own.
How to neutralize a visionary: To best deal with
this type, reverse her train of thought. She naturally takes a broad
perspective, so be quick to funnel things down into something smaller and more
practical. To do so, ask a lot of specific questions that force her to rationally
approach the issue and to consider potential obstacles to executing her broad
ideas. Don’t refute her ideas directly, or she will feel criticized; instead,
focus her attention on what it will take to realistically implement her plan.
Oftentimes, your questions will diffuse her plan, and when they don’t, they’ll
get her to understand—and commit to—the effort it’s going to take on her part
to help make it happen.
7. The Seagull
We’ve all been there—sitting in the
shadow of a seagull manager who decided it was time to roll up his sleeves,
swoop in and squawk up a storm. Instead of taking the time to get the facts
straight and work alongside the team to realize a viable solution, the seagull
deposits steaming piles of formulaic advice and then abruptly takes off,
leaving everyone else behind to clean up the mess. Seagulls interact with their
employees only when there’s a fire to put out. Even then, they move in and out
so hastily—and put so little thought into their approach—that they make bad
situations worse by frustrating and alienating those who need them the most.
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How to neutralize a seagull: A group approach
works best with seagulls. If you can get the entire team to sit down with him
and explain that his abrupt approach to solving problems makes it extremely
difficult for everyone to perform at their best, this message is likely to be
heard. If the entire group bands together and provides constructive,
non-threatening feedback, the seagull will more often than not find a better
way to work with his team. It’s easy to spot a seagull when you’re on the
receiving end of their airborne dumps, but the manager doing the squawking is
often unaware of the negative impact of his behaviour. Have the group give him
a little nudge, and things are bound to change for the better.
5 SIGNS OF A TOXIC BOSS
Early in the development of our
business books we experienced a surge of interest in our leadership training
offerings. Our speaking and workshop business tripled in just one year. With
the growth came challenges. We debated how to structure ourselves and where to
focus people and budget.
To allow us to focus the majority of
our time with clients and writing books, we brought in a senior leader and
turned the business side of our enterprise completely over to him. We assumed
that meant standardized billing, finding more resources, and reminding us of
our P&L once a month. The executive had other ideas. Within weeks of coming
in, with little idea about our business, and having spoken to no one on the
team, he saw the indecisiveness inherent in the growing operation and became a
dictator by default. He began making big decisions: announcing that he would
bring in new managers over our loyal people and remove team members who had
worked for us for years. At the breakfast meeting where he informed us of his
plan and nixed any further discussion, one of us remembers wondering what
prison sentence we would have to serve if we stuck the sharp end of a fork in
the man's eye.
Before he arrived we'd had a fluid,
dynamic team that used constant collaboration to solve problems and deliver
work. Roles had evolved as needed, not under a hierarchical command-and-control
structure, but under a team model where we all felt equal responsibility for
success or failure. Ironically it was through the interaction with this manager
that we learned the incredible value of what we had just lost. What followed
was a very difficult year spent trying to reach a level of cooperation.
Eventually we parted ways with this manager and achieved autonomy again, having
learned our lesson the hard way: There are toxic bosses among us.
A recent study by Accenture shows the
most commonly cited reasons people leave a job:
·
Don't
like my boss (31%)
·
A
lack of empowerment (31%),
·
Internal
politics (35%) and
·
Lack
of recognition (43%).
It would be hard to argue, as a
manager, that we don't control all of those four items.
Whether you are considering making a
move to work for a new boss, or you are trying to figure out the person you
work for now, what follows is a short list of traits we've found toxic managers
exhibit. Work for these people at your peril:
You Have to Fight
For Access: Most
problems with toxic bosses seemed to arise from a lack of communication. Our
friend Tom McDonald is one of the most talented graphic designers we know (his
name has been changed to protect him from his toxic boss): "When I
realized a direct supervisor I had considered it a rare privilege for others to
be allowed access to his office for approvals--and he expected me (and others)
to fight for that access--I knew it would result in serious
inefficiencies." Tom added that his department was located a whopping 11
floors away from his boss's office! And yet he rarely received replies to his
emailed questions. "I'd say a reply rate of 30 percent or less to serious
and direct emailed business questions rates a toxiclabel," he
said. "One might be tempted to believe that the intent was to foster a
sense of independent decision-making, but this supervisor was very hands-on. So
the net result was a deadening inertia that enveloped all projects."
They Don't Need No
Stinking Goals: Another
sign of a toxic boss is confusion about goals. For instance, if at the end of
meetings led by your supervisor no one is clear about "next steps,"
it may be due to the intentionally vague and obfuscatory language used. Too
many buzzwords and conflicting goals means that your "toxic" boss may
not want anyone to take any action without consulting with him/her.
You Are Ostracized
by Association: "One
of the first things I noticed working for that boss was that no one in other
departments wanted to work with my supervisor or us," Tom said. "We
were actively avoided, and that was probably due to the fact that our office
was run according to the paranoid rule of 'Do Unto Them Before They Do It to
You'--treating all potential partners as adversaries."
They are Never
Wrong: Toxic
leaders refuse to admit they ever make mistakes. In fact, if you can't remember
the last time your boss admitted he was wrong, or even asked for the team's
advice when he was stuck, your boss may be toxic. But there's a twist to this
point: Another trait of never-wrong bosses is they typically only see others
through their own lenses. We once worked with a senior leader who was a decent
person, but he had a hang up. He believed sales people who were
commission-driven were greedy, and workers who asked for raises were self-centred
and narcissistic. Anyone who brought up money in his office found themselves
with a black mark on their record. This leader was idealistic and purpose-driven,
believing all workers should be there for the good of the company and the
customer. Certainly a noble goal! But he failed to acknowledge that some people
are more reward-driven. They can't help it; it's in their natures. Great
leaders accept that their people have different motivators and find ways to tap
into them to achieve big things.
They Have
Favorites. Everyone
has someone on the team they mesh better with, personality wise, even bosses.
And that's understandable. But toxic bosses push favoritism past the point of
fairness--giving out plum assignments, promotions and undue attention, and
typically to a sycophantic employee no one else seems to like.
The cost of all this? Gallup
estimates that active disengagement from a toxic boss costs the U.S. $450
billion to $550 billion per year. That's a lot of lost production and
frustrated talent.
We could go on: Toxic bosses over
promise, they aren't trustworthy, they take credit for your work, and so on.
But we'll leave the list at 5 for now because we'd love to hear from you. How
do you know you're working for a Toxic Boss?
HOW
TO SURVIVE
5
TYPES OF TOXIC BOSSES
Almost everybody has at least one horror story about a terrible
boss. I have five such stories, from five different bosses. These are the skills
it took to survive them all.
1. THE INCOMPETENT.
Following the acquisition of a
previous company I worked for, a new vice president was named to
takeover our high-functioning public affairs group that included
government relations, community affairs, external and internal communications
as well as corporate social responsibility.
While I was initially optimistic,
within a few weeks my positivity faded as she gerrymandered the team's roles
and responsibilities into a confusing, unworkable mess, with no
face-to-face input or direct briefings from her down line. Within nine
months of her taking over, more than 60 percent of the team had turned over
voluntarily.
I didn't know the depth of her
incompetence until a month or so later, when she commented in a meeting of
senior leaders, "Why don't we just cut the price of our product in half to
gain share?"
That single statement demonstrated that
she didn't know our business or flag-ship product. She never took the
time to familiarize herself with its razor-thin
margins, its cost of goods or its manufacturing process. She lasted
another year before she was fired.
Survival Tactic: When working with an incompetent boss,
you need to augment and showcase your own level of competency. Know your
business, your customers, your products, your numbers -- everything,
inside and out. Become the go-to-person within your group that the organization
can rely on, because they can't rely on your boss.
2. THE BULLY.
I've written about this particular CEO before, when he summarily fired
the best boss I ever worked for, who was beloved by union members and
management alike. The bullying CEO asked me my opinion of the surprise
firing and I told him it was a grave misstep that would unsettle the
organization.
His nodding response was, "Good, I
like to inject fear into organizations." This guy embodied the corporate
bully. His tenure was a little bit more than a year before declines in customer
service forced his ouster from the top job.
Survival Tactic: Whether in an elementary school
classroom or a corporate boardroom, it's never easy facing a bully. But the key
to surviving bullies in business is boldness. Others will notice you're not
afraid of the bully and they may help you anonymously.
When organizational change occurs, and
it will because bullying is an unsustainable management style, you'll be
remembered and rewarded for your grit.
3. THE PHONY.
During the late 1990s and early 2000s,
it seemed you couldn't go a week or two without reading a news story about a
top executive or CEO who padded their resume or claimed to have an
advanced degree that they really didn't.
I worked for one of those guys.
Even though his career deception
was embarrassing when it came out, he kept his job.
However, one of the unintended
consequences of the board of directors' mishandling of that decision was a
seemingly unspoken approval for cutting
corners, "minor" deceptions to boost numbers and questionable
decisions that hurt customers and, ultimately, the business.
He lasted several years in that
role and exited the company with a golden parachute, but never shook the stigma
of deception.
Survival Tactic: The key when working or dealing with a
phony is truth and integrity. Deception is not a sustainable practice in work
or life. The truth will set you free.
4. THE DEAL MAKER.
After the first company I worked for
was acquired, the operationally-minded CEO of the acquiring parent
organization asserted that it had every intention of keeping the
enterprise together and growing it into an industry powerhouse.
That vision didn't last three quarters
and an outsider with a reputation as a "deal-maker" was brought
in as CEO. I had dual-reporting responsibility to him and the president of
the company's largest and most-profitable business unit.
Within the span of three quarters,
the deal-maker CEO had parsed the company into three divisions and announced
divestitures of several strategic assets and business units. It was a fire
sale.
Survival Tactic: I was given the option of staying with
the parent company---which ultimately declared bankruptcy despite all its
divestitures---or sticking with the business unit that had a high-functioning
leadership team that I knew and trusted.
I choose my friends and colleagues over
corporate, and would make the same decision today.
The key to surviving the deal-maker who
views employees as an asset class or a row of ciphers to be
excised, is the quality of relationships you have with co-workers and
peers.
5. THE GHOST.
This boss was an individual whom I
personally liked and respected. I got along famously with this executive
vice president the first three weeks he was on the job. Our offices where
right next to each other.
Then he disappeared for 18 months.
He was constantly
"traveling." He never replied to emails from anyone. He never
participated in conference calls or webinars. He never attended meetings
-- I had to serve as his surrogate.
No one ever knew where he
was, including the CEO who ultimately tapped me to handle the ghost's
responsibilities after nearly 16 months.
Then almost 18 months to the day, the
EVP showed up at my office and took me to lunch to tell me he was leaving the
company and I was to assume his responsibilities, as if he had
orchestrated my promotion from afar.
Survival Tactic: When your boss is MIA, you have to
step-up and be the face for the group. It will stretch you but a key trait of a
leader is being self directed, knowing what needs to be done and then getting
it done.
While there are many types of bad
bosses, there are also many types of tactics to not only survive but thrive
under them.
HOW
TO MANIPULATE YOUR AWFUL BOSS INTO WORKING FOR YOU
You have a
bad boss: a screamer, a boss who plays favorites, a die-hard narcissist. You
spend an inordinate amount of time complaining about your boss to anyone who
will listen. Everybody agrees: your boss is bad. But what does
commiserating do for your job satisfaction and career goals?
Absolutely
nothing.
You can’t
change your boss and, chances are, you’re not in a position to change
jobs. What you can change is how you perceive your boss and how you work your
boss to your advantage.
Aikido
serves as a perfect analogy for how to accomplish this. Firstly, flow with your
opponent’s movement. Figure out your boss’s secret fear and desire. Secondly,
in contrast to boxing -- where your aim is to punch out your opponent --
redirect the movement to your benefit. Become valuable to your boss. Become an
ally.
While every
fiber of your being may resist this approach, remember that you’re supporting
your boss’s success all in the name of your own success. Here’s how.
1. Identify your boss’s secret fear
and desire.
Almost everything we do in life
is determined by a) what we run from and b) what we run towards. Bosses are no
exception. Those two things drive your boss’s behavior. Once you determine
the fear your boss is running from and the desire she’s running toward, she becomes
predictable and, therefore, ready to work for you.
For example, a Finger Pointer
Boss manages by blaming. He fears that he lacks the skills to be successful
but his heart’s desire is to be a 100 percent success.
An Egomaniacal Boss, on the other
hand, believes she’s perfect and brilliant but her grandiose approach
leaves a trail of unfinished projects. Her desire is to be loved but she fears
she’s not lovable and dreads being out of control. Her bravado is a mere
defense against mediocrity.
Once you have this insight, what should you do with
it?
2. Make yourself valuable by being
the boss’s ally.
The entrée to making yourself
valuable to your boss is to either fulfill his secret desire or keep him safe
from his secret fear. You accomplish this by becoming an ally.
Your gut may ask why you should
pander to your bad boss’ shortcomings. Serving as an ally is your most
effective way to take back your power. You will gain leverage so you can ask
for, and more likely get, what you want and need.
With the Finger Pointer Boss, you
need to be the calm in the eye of the storm. By not reacting to his
bluster in any way you show him that his bluster lacks power. Then shift to be
his problem-solver. Take the responsibility to fix, one way or another,
whatever problems arise. That will make your boss look like a success, allowing
you to avert disasters rather than just doing damage control. As he discovers
he can trust you to fix problems, you will become more important to him and to
the company.
In the case of the Egomaniacal
Boss, working her takes nerve, gumption and strategy. By flowing with her
fierce need for loyalty and adoration, you become the go-to employee who
buttresses her sense of control and helps turn her brilliant chaos into order.
If you do it well enough, over time you will become her powerful, trusted
wing-(wo)man. When Egomaniacal Boss moves up (or out), she’ll want to take you
with her.
An Aikido
master doesn’t seek to demolish the opponent but to deflect potential harm
and, in so doing, gain the advantage. Switch your focus from working yourself
into a frenzy to working your boss for your own benefit. You’ll find the job
satisfaction and career success that’s been eluding you.
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