How To Motivate Somebody Who Has No Interest In Changing

Every once in a while, I run across someone who doesn’t want to change. 

How do I motivate them to change when they don’t want to? 

What do I do to convince them that the change is good for them? 

Nothing!

Have you ever tried to change the behavior of an adult who had absolutely no interest in changing? How much luck did you have with your attempts at this “religious conversion”? Have you ever tried to change the behavior of a spouse, partner or parent who had no interest in changing? How did that work out for you?

My guess is that if you have ever tried to change someone else’s behavior, and that person did not want to change, you have been consistently unsuccessful in changing their behavior. You may have even alienated the person you were trying to enlighten.

If they don’t care, don’t waste your time.

Research on coaching is clear and consistent. Coaching is most successful when applied to people with potential who want to improve — not when applied to people who have no interest in changing. This is true whether you are acting as a professional coach, a manager, a family member, or a friend.

Your time is very limited. The time you waste coaching people who do not care is time stolen from people who want to change.

As an example, back in a loca GLC where I was the Marketing Head, my Boss was an outstanding CEO with High School Qualification. In his mind, I was always a treat to him, and all around him should not be smarter then him, meaning which he hired people similar or lower qualities th n he had. Meaning which he treated as though all of his employees were in the first grade.

He was always correcting everybody.

My name was Aj. My boss was always scolding “Aj this, AJ that" when i did something wrong or not to what he wanted. I wondered to what level was he at always? I tested a few things in this job. I hired a talkative staff and a hard working street smart staff. In a remarkably short period of time the talkative started screeching “Aj this, Aj that!” Now i was being corrected by my staff.

Months passed. When my talkative staff and boss corrected all my teams so called error and even to Malaysian Level of English. Was perfection his moto or inequality or even treath. 

If you are still trying to change people who have no interest in changing, take my advise. Let it go. As the would always fill their world with people of lower qualities based on their level of thinking, quality of understanding and evaluating plus the feel of treat in highering someone smarter or experience. This is the old school HITLER & not Napoleon.


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